Two years ago, a few weeks before college decisions were due, I wrote a series of posts that received a whole lot of reactions and obviously resonated. It was based on personal experiences I was going through at the time with my daughter and our search for college or an alternative. If you haven’t read them you can go to Odd Person Out, Everyone has a way of figuring it out and Nothing is permanent.
Now 2 years later, it’s that same time again, college decisions are due and I have an update. Hopefully it will resonate with a lot of you in the same way the other posts did.
Here’s our story:
Within a short time of being at a big ten school, far away, we knew and more importantly Riley, my daughter, knew that the school wasn’t a fit. She made friends, joined a sorority, did “all the things” and it didn’t feel right. She was sad, missed home and just knew at the bottom of her heart it wasn’t the place for her. Nothing is permanent, remember?
So, we regrouped. Covid hit, she came home in March and finished Freshman year online. She wanted to stick it out through Sophomore year to really prove to herself that it wasn’t right. Did I think this was the right move, not necessarily but it’s time to let her figure it out on her own, remember? We got her into her own apartment for first semester sophomore year and then she came home for the remainder of the year to study online.
This fall she’s transferring to a school in NYC and is really excited about it. It’s been an emotional roller coaster. There’s so much that plays into it, your child feeling like they don’t fit in, feeling guilty for putting his/her parents through the effort and expense, then getting it “wrong” . Or, on the flip side, as a parent; should I have interceded when I pretty much knew deep down this wasn’t going to work out. Then there was hearing the sadness in the tone of her voice over the phone and feeling helpless. I could go on and on.
What I will tell you, as difficult as it was, it was a huge learning experience for her. The most important lesson she learned is to follow her heart. To follow what truly lights her up and makes her happy.
So, here’s to a new school, living life through all its ups and downs, learning to follow your heart and knowing that nothing is permanent.
I hope all of you are at peace with your decision. Reach out if you ever want to talk because we’ve been through the gamut!